SPIRAL DOWNWARD
KEVIN FELT TRAPPED; HE was unable to break free from his negative situation. About this time, he became aware that many people had stories of shortages of work similar to his, which led to other means of trying to make ends meet. In fact, he discovered that what he had experienced was quite commonplace in his town after hearing stories of others losing everything at the casino. One day, Kevin found a quiet place and asked God how he could help himself and others through this ordeal—if God could use this experience. Kevin knew he had been conned and deceived, but he could not bring himself to blame anyone else.. Ephesians 4:26 says,
"Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath" (NKJV).
He realized that he had chosen his own way, which was hostile to the path of life and peace that he once knew. Kevin was under the weight of a taskmaster whose burden was heavy, keeping him
a slave to a gambling addiction. Kevin was full of anxiety, broken, and defeated. Where would his help come from?
Around this time, feeling tired of the negative talk and angry faces of people losing their games at the casino, Kevin would get away to find some solitude. However, when he tried to talk to God, it used up what little energy he had left. Kevin yearned for peace in his soul but found very little. He felt like Moses must have after being banished from Egypt with only a small portion of food and water and yet miraculously crossing the desert. Stripped of vain titles and worldly loves and having exhausted all his resources, Kevin was similarly at the mercy of a higher power that would decide his fate. Moses found a new life, free from the idols of Egypt. Kevin thought, "Could God restore me as He did Moses?" Would He?" Kevin's feelings were at an all-
John 8:44You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your
father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand
in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks
from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of
Because of his absence from the things of God and activities of His people, Kevin's mind was not being renewed toward the will of God. Kevin thought, "If only God will take me back, I'll give him my very best." Hebrews 13:5 says,
"For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you"
When poisonous, untrue thoughts plagued Kevin's mind, he wished he knew the truth and knew what to do. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks: He remembered the words of Jesus that said He
"was the way, the truth and the life" (John 14:6 NIV),
and a fresh wind blew his way. Although Kevin felt crushed from all the time he had spent at the casino, he had more hope in spite of his fears of what others might say or think of him. He told himself, "It doesn't matter if others judge me. God is the true judge, and I hope to find forgiveness and mercy." Kevin started going to church again—not every Sunday at first, but he loved the worship when he went. He often wept as he felt God's grace and mercy rather than criticism and judgement. However, Kevin wasn't totally out of the woods yet. He still went to the casino, yet it became increasingly less frequent. Kevin felt that he was being wooed by the great, gentle love of God.
